I heard we made out
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
