That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
