dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
