my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
