You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
