I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
