Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
