if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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