If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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