Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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