It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
