Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
