i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
my phone needs a breathalizer
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
