Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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