and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
My feet surprised me
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
