i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
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