The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
