Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I just googled if crying burns calories
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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