We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
