He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
