So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
