where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
