Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
