May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
