Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize