That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
my liver is dry heaving
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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