If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
