eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
