Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i barfeds in our rink
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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