He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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