Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
