There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
