just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
