Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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