I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
