i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
