don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
