...so i touched it.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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