I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
When are your genitals available?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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