At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
