omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
