I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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