i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
