My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
