In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
