I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Congratulations! We have a period
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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