Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
