i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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