if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
