I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
